I have been knowing this girl for 2 months. When she was the moderator of my online lectures, I feel so in love by just listening to her laughter. I have been holding back myself from trying to feel insecure, that I have been having many rejections before. Now that I am already a medical graduate, and I’m still jobless. I am wondering if missing a girl is a wrong thing for me in my life or not. Because you see, I was cheated by my first ex who had two boyfriends (I was one of them) at the same time. It has been many years ago, but the scar is always there and it hurts whenever I feel like admiring another girl. The insecurity inside me is overwhelming me, and making me lose the chance to confess. Worst comes to worse, I was rejected by my junior again, right after I finish teaching clinical skills last year. The devastating feeling already makes me not believe in love anymore. So now, should I talk more to the current girl I admire? Or just let it be because I know I don’t deserve any girl in the world, no matter how excellent I am actually?