#UC19657

I hv been with my bf for a couple of years now, but our relationship is really toxic. I know he doesn’t feel that way but I’m constantly feeling anxious and depressed whenever when I’m with him. He would constantly bring me down by criticizing how “flat” and “fat” I am, and comparing me with other girls with nice body shape. I did not allow those comments bother me at first but somehow after some time , I’ve started to hate myself even more. I have low self-esteem ever since I was a child for not being as talented and gifted. I know that sometimes he is just kidding but this really affect my self esteem a lot.
I never dared to hangout with my friends whenever he’s around because he wants to be there too. Yes, I know some people may find it sweet that her bf wants to be with her all the time. But this had caused me not being able to hangout just with my friends. I have tried to confront him but the only thing he would say is “izit that your frens do not like me”… So for the past few years, I’ve gotten distant with my friends… And I really do miss spending time with them. I’ve gotten to the point where I’d rather not spend time with my friends than having him there. (My frens do not really mind, but I really hope i get to spend time with my frens …)
I am constantly under stress whenever he’s around. I appreciate that he is never afraid to let people knows that he has a gf, and he posts our photos on social media SO MUCH that he like to keep everyone updated with our photos. Behind the scene, I’m always forced to posts our photos on my social media. I never intend to hide our relationship but I do not like to update everyone with my life all the time.

Of course there’s more story to this but my question is , am I someone that is crazy for being ungrateful and do not know how to appreciate my boyfriend…? Or I’m not…?

For those who thinks I’m not, I did try to end this relationship before, but obviously it was not a success because he would always remind me of everything he did for me (and his mom mentioned to me he must never get angry , it might trigger his asthma… Which is why I always always let him win in every fight… )